Dreams Pass in Time
by Wren Skywalker
Summary: Episode II rewritten, but Obi- wan doesn't com in until Geonosis. There's also a surprising twist that makes this different from ep. II.
1. Default Chapter

Dreams Pass in Time, by Wren Skywalker Ch.1 Anakin sat up in bed, sweat dripping from his forehead. He breathed quickly and called into the next room to his master, Obi- Wan Kenobi. When Obi-Wan came bursting through the door, Anakin patted the spot beside him on the bed and the Jedi master sat down.  
" What is it, Anakin?" asked obi wan. He was becoming agitated; he didn't appreciate being woken up in the middle of the night when there obviously wasn't any danger. Anakin ran his fingers through his spiky blond hair.  
" Master, I . I had the dream again." Anakin was in distress over a recurring dream he had had again. Obi-Wan sighed and looked at Anakin sternly.  
" Anakin, how many times must I tell you? You must forget about the senator in order to become a great Jedi. Your thoughts betray you. Control them," said Obi-Wan as he rose to leave the padawan for the night. Anakin grabbed his master's cloak and when obi wan turned to look at him, Anakin stared at him with large, scared eyes. To master Kenobi, Anakin looked like he did ten years ago, when he was just a boy, afraid to leave his mother.  
"Anything else, my young padawan?" asked Obi-Wan in a softer voice. Anakin sighed and wiped his forehead with a corner of the thin sheets barely covering his bare chest.  
"Master, please, let me tell you about the dream."  
"Anakin, I've heard this before. I know exactly what happens. The senator-," Obi-wan was interrupted by anakin.  
"Just let me tell you again. It helps to talk about it," said the padawan in a low, quiet voice. Obi wan nodded and stood up.  
"All right, and I suppose we should have some jawachino while you tell me again of your dream."  
Anakin stood up and followed his master into the small kitchen they shared. He sat down weakly in a hard metal chair and obi wan brought two steaming mugs of jawachino to the table. The master took a sip of his drink, waiting for the troubled padawan to begin his tale. Anakin swirled his jawachino with a spoon and looked down into the dark brown liquid.  
"Her hair is brown like this. It's soft and warm, and it smells like lilac. I remember when master Qui-gon was taking me to Naboo. Padme was there. I was very young; only nine; but I knew I loved her. She leaned in close to me, bending low to pick something up, and I could smell her hair as it passed over my face," thought Anakin out loud. Obi-wan shook his head.  
"Anakin, once again, your thoughts betray you. You cannot love Senator Amidala. It is forbidden. You know that. Besides, I'm not missing hours of precious sleep just to hear you recollect vivid memories of the senator." Obi wan frowned deeply at his padawan. Anakin knew there was no way to make his master understand.  
"Yes, master, terribly sorry master. I try to remember, master. Now, on to my dream. It started on Tatooine, where I lived as a moisture farmer. I was married to Padme, and we had two children. It was very early in the morning, and I was still asleep. Padme had gone out to pick mushrooms in a patch about a mile from our house. She never came back. I left the children with a man, I don't remember who it was; but I knew he was safe to leave them with; and went looking for her. I was gone all day; I asked everyone I could find for directions to the Tuskin Raider camp. I suspected she was captured by a band of them. When I found the camp, the raiders were huddled around a large fire. There were huts in the distance. I stayed hidden in the shadows and found the hut where Padme was, using the Force." Anakin took a deep breath, pausing briefly to glance at his apparently unmoved master, before starting his story again.  
" I burst into the hut with my light saber. It was dimly lit with a small fire. In the middle of the hut, Padme was tied to a large stake with leather cords, digging into her wrists. She had-," Anakin swallowed hard, as if having trouble with what he was about to say. "--she had bruises on her face and deep cuts on her arms. There was blood everywhere, and her clothes were tattered. I cut her from the stake with my saber and she fell into my arms. She was thin, and I could barely feel her stomach rise against my arms as she breathed. She tried to speak, but I told her to save her strength. She said there wasn't time, and she said she loved me, and then she-," Anakin took another deep breath. "--and then she died in my arms. Right there; I couldn't save her." Anakin buried his face in his hands and his shoulders began to shake as he sobbed like a little boy. Obi wan sighed. He had heard it before, the whole story.  
" Anakin, your dream will never become a reality, you know that. You cannot marry Senator Amidala. It is impossible. Your dream will never happen. Don't worry."  
"But, master, I have this dream almost every night. I don't like seeing Padme in pain. It hurts me." Anakin raised his head and looked pitifully at Obi-wan.  
"Anakin, you haven't seen the senator in ten years, not since master Qui-gon and I brought you to Coruscant to start your training. Perhaps you are just worried for her safety," contemplated Obi-wan thoughtfully.  
"But master, the dream-,"  
"Yes, padawan, that's all it is. A dream. Dreams pass in time." 


	2. Chapter II

Anakin sat up in bed, sweat dripping from his forehead. He breathed quickly and called into the next room to his master, obi- wan kenobi. When obi wan came bursting through the door, anakin patted the spot beside him on the bed and the Jedi master sat down.  
" What is it, anakin?" asked obi wan. He was becoming agitated; he didn't appreciate being woken up in the middle of the night when there obviously wasn't any danger. Anakin ran his fingers through his spiky blond hair.  
" Master, I . I had the dream again." Anakin was in distress over a recurring dream he had had again. Obi wan sighed and looked at anakin sternly.  
" Anakin, how many times must I tell you? You must forget about the senator in order to become a great jedi. Your thoughts betray you. Control them," said obi wan as he rose to leave the padawan for the night. Anakin grabbed his master's cloak and when obi wan turned to look at him, anakin stared at him with large, scared eyes. To master kenobi, anakin looked like he did ten years ago, when he was just a boy, afraid to leave his mother.  
" Anything else, my young padawan?" asked obi wan in a softer voice. Anakin sighed and wiped his forehead with a corner of the thin sheets barely covering his bare chest.  
" master, please, let me tell you about the dream."  
" anakin, I've heard this before. I know exactly what happens. The senator-," obi wan was interrupted by anakin.  
" just let me tell you again. It helps to talk about it," said the padawan in a low, quiet voice. Obi wan nodded and stood up.  
" alright, and I suppose we should have some jawachino while you tell me again of your dream."  
Anakin stood up and followed his master into the small kitchen they shared. He sat down weakly in a hard metal chair and obi wan brought two steaming mugs of jawachino to the table. The master took a sip of his drink, waiting for the troubled padawan to begin his tale. Anakin swirled his jawachino with a spoon and looked down into the dark brown liquid.  
" her hair is brown like this. Its soft and warm, and it smells like lilac. I remember when master qui gon was taking me to naboo. Padme was there. I was very young; only nine; but I knew I loved her. She leaned in close to me, bending low to pick something up, and I could smell her hair as it passed over my face," thought anakin out loud. Obi wan shook his head.  
" anakin, once again, your thoughts betray you. You cannot love senator amidala. It is forbidden. You know that. Besides, I'm not missing hours of precious sleep just to hear you recollect vivid memories of the senator." Obi wan frowned deeply at his padawan. Anakin knew there was no way to make his master understand.  
" yes, master, terribly sorry master. I try to remember, master. Now, on to my dream. It started on tattooine, where I lived as a moisture farmer. I was married to padme, and we had two children. It was very early in the morning, and I was still asleep. Padme had gone out to pick mushrooms in a patch about a mile from our house. She never came back. I left the children with a man, I don't remember who it was; but I knew he was safe to leave them with; and went looking for her. I was gone all day; I asked everyone I could find for directions to the tuskin raider camp. I suspected she was captured by a band of them. When I found the camp, the raiders were huddled around a large fire. There were huts in the distance. I stayed hidden in the shadows and found the hut where padme was, using the Force." Anakin took a deep breath, pausing briefly to glance at his apparently unmoved master, before starting his story again.  
" I burst into the hut with my light saber. It was dimly lit with a small fire. In the middle of the hut, padme was tied to a large stake with leather cords, digging into her wrists. She had-," anakin swallowed hard, as if having trouble with what he was about to say. " she had bruises on her face and deep cuts on her arms. There was blood everywhere, and her clothes were tattered. I cut her from the stake with my saber and she fell into my arms. She was thin, and I could barely feel her stomach rise against my arms as she breathed. She tried to speak, but I told her to save her strength. She said there wasn't time, and she said she loved me, and then she-," anakin took another deep breath. " and then she died in my arms. Right there; I couldn't save her." Anakin buried his face in his hands and his shoulders began to shake as he sobbed like a little boy. Obi wan sighed. He had heard it before, the whole story.  
" anakin, your dream will never become a reality, you know that. You cannot marry senator amidala. It is impossible. Your dream will never happen. Don't worry."  
" but, master, I have this dream almost every night. I don't like seeing padme in pain. It hurts me," anakin raised his head and looked pitifully at obi wan.  
" anakin, you haven't seen the senator in ten years, not since master qui gon and I brought you to coruscant to start your training. Perhaps you are just worried for her safety," contemplated obi wan thoughtfully.  
" but master, the dream-,"  
" yes, padawan, that's all it is. A dream. Dreams pass in time."  
  
PART II  
  
Anakin and obi wan were in an elevator, speeding up to the 78th story of the senate apartment buildings. Anakin was completely nervous. He hadn't seen padme in ten years; now he and his master were assigned to protect her. He hadn't had the awful dream in over a month, but it still haunted him.  
" anakin! Anakin, are you paying attention to anything? We're here!" yelled obi wan at his padawan. Anakin snapped back to reality and followed his master to a tastefully decorated living room. Looking over a large balcony, padme stood flanked on either side by two handmaidens.  
" senator amidala?" asked obi wan as padme turned around. With a glowing smile, she walked toward the jedi.  
" It has been far too long, master kenobi," said padme as she grasped obi -wan's hand. He bowed as she turned her head to the anxious young man beside him.  
" ani? My, you've grown," said padme as she smiled in recognition at him. Anakin's master had to nudge him sharply in the back. Anakin remembered his place and bowed deeply.  
" so have you. Grown more beautiful, I mean. For a senator, I mean." His words came out stuttered and slurred, and he tried to smile at her. For a moment there was silence as anakin moved his eyes up and down her small figure, breathing in once again the scent he had burned inside him as padme. She, too, was studying him, moving her own eyes along the tall, dark man before her. Then, with a sudden glance around the room, padme noticed the handmaidens and obi wan were staring at her. She forced her gaze back to anakin's eyes.  
" oh, ani, you'll always be that little boy I knew on tattooine." She knew it wasn't the truth, but she had to say something that would make him stop looking at her. Padme turned, with a swish of dark purple skirts, and sat on a high backed wooden chair. She invited the two jedi to do the same, trying to forget that one of them used to be a little boy whom she still cared greatly for.  
Obi wan could tell that senator amidala wasn't the least bit pleased at having added security, so he tried to lighten the mood, seeing that anakin was obviously to frightened to say anything directly to padme.  
" senator, you have a lovely place here. Do you enjoy serving as senator?" obi wan felt anakin glance at him a few times, but refused to look his padawan in the eye. Padme sighed and looked around her beautifully decorated living room. There was a large bay window engulfing one wall, and the floor was an ocean of dark blue carpeting. The walls were covered in dark green paint and sprinkled with pictures of previous senators and the newly elected queen jamila. Realizing she had paused too long, padme turned her gaze back to the men sitting patiently before her.  
" yes, I do; very much so. I just wish I could be at home more. But then, how can you be in politics and stay in one place?" she laughed dryly at her ill- humored comment. She looked at anakin, about to speak to him, but the elevator door pushed open and captain typho and two of his pilots sauntered in and bowed to the senator, then turned to the jedi.  
" I am captain typho, of her majesty queen jamila's security team. I am grateful you are here. The situation is more dangerous then the senator wishes to admit," said the captain, glaring at padme. She returned his look as his men bowed and left and he sat down.  
" I don't need more security. I need answers. I want to know whose trying to kill me." Padme's voice was agitated and obi wan cleared his throat.  
" we are here to protect you, senator, not to start an investigation." Obi wan's reply was controlling and stern. Padme stood up and turned her glare to obi wan.  
" protection is a job for local security. Perhaps you jedi aren't all everyone brags about you." She noticed the hurt look on anakin's face, but quickly swallowed her sympathy. Padme knew what she said was mean, but she wanted anakin to stop thinking of her. It was for his own good. She needed to break the bond between them that had been there since they first met. Regardless of the way she felt for him.  
" now if you'll excuse me, I will retire." Without looking over her shoulder, she picked up her heavy skirts and stalked out of the room, her handmaidens following closely behind.  
Captain Typho looked apologetically at obi wan and anakin. He rose as the two jedi did the same.  
" you'll have to excuse the senator's rudeness. She's been a little on edge lately."  
" because of the recent attempts on her life?" questioned obi wan, walking beside the captain, not noticing that anakin stood staring at the door where padme had left. Typho shook his head in response.  
" no, not that. Senator amildala has always taken the assassination attempts very well. This morning, you see, as our starship was coming into the coruscant landing dock, her ship was hit. She was not harmed, but her loyal decoy corde was killed. This has hit the senator very hard. She does not believe that others should die trying to protect her." Obi wan and typho continued talking, but anakin didn't hear a word of what they were saying. He was thinking about padme.  
She seemed so angry. This wasn't at all like the queen he had known. Anakin had thought of her every day since they parted, and it seemed as if she had forgotten him completely. He knew he was doing what his master called "focusing on the negative", but he couldn't help it. Why wasn't she pleased to see him?  
  
Senator amidala sat at her vanity table, brushing her long hair. She couldn't force the way anakin had looked at her out of her mind. He shouldn't have looked at her like that. He was a jedi, and they weren't allowed to love. But just for a moment, she put down her brush and looked at herself in the way anakin might. She had long brown hair that just barely curled at the ends, and dark chocolate eyes that were shaded by black lashes. Her skin was soft and olive colored, a result of basking in the bright Nubian sun when she was a girl. There was no doubt she was beautiful, everyone had always told her that. But she had never had time to notice it herself. From a very young age, padme had been involved in politics, and all of the men in her life were either protecting her or trying to persuade her to side with them in some economical dispute. She had never thought of herself as attractive to any of them.  
Padme picked up her brush once more and raised it to her head, but stopped before she had even begun brushing it. She was wearing a revealing, silky- white nightgown, and there were, after all, security cameras in her room. They had never bothered her before; they were a part of her every day life. But as she sat alone in her room, she realized a certain young jedi was on the other side of those lenses. Padme rose swiftly and grabbed a small paper weight from her desk. She crushed the small cams, then pulled her soft blue robe on and lay on her bed.  
  
It wasn't long before padme was startled awake by a soft knocking at her door. She went to open it, knowing it was probably either anakin or obi wan coming to tell her that the cams were broken. When she opened the door, her worst fears were confirmed. Anakin stood nervously before her, trying to smile. He steadied himself against the door frame with a strong arm, leaning on it for support of his suddenly weak legs. He noticed immediately that padme's robe didn't cover the top part of her chest, and a large section of soft skin was exposed. He swallowed hard and ran a hand through his hair.  
" yes?" padme asked, pulling her robe tightly arould her, noticing that anakin was staring at her. He pulled his eyes from her chest and began to wring his hands.  
" we noticed the cameras were smashed. Did you see any one break them?" padme could tell he was uncomfortable, so she motioned for him to sit next to her on the bed. Padme noticed they were sitting too close; their hips were touching.  
" no, I didn't see anyone come in. I was asleep before you came in." padme had to lie. She didn't want to tell him why she broke the cameras.  
" I will have to call master, then. He will know what to do. You can't sleep without security." Padme clutched her robe as she watched anakin stand and exit her room. She hoped that her plan wasn't backfiring on her. She had broken the cams to keep anakin away, and now it looked as if he would have to sleep in her room.  
When anakin came back, a slightly shorter man accompanied him. Padme stood and faced obi wan, trying not to look guilty. Obi wan bowed to her and padme tried to smile.  
"is there a problem, master kenobi?" asked padme, trying to act as if she hadn't the slightest idea why obi wan and anakin would be in her room in the middle of the night.  
"yes, I'm afraid there is. Your security cams seem to have been smashed, and we cannot let you stay here alone; unprotected." Obi wan looked deeply concerned for the senator's life. Padme felt bad for making him worry about her. Anakin looked excited and afraid at the same time. Padme nodded to obi wan, waiting for him to go on.  
"well, senator, I believe it would be wise to have either anakin or myself spend the night in here with you." Noticing the taken- a- back look on her face, obi wan quickly added, "of course, we will sleep on the floor." Padme looked a little bit more comfortable with the idea, but not much. She glanced at anakin and saw that he was sweating slightly.  
"I understand, master Kenobi, and I am most grateful for your concern. I trust you will be able to fix the lenses by tomorrow night," said padme as obi wan nodded to her. She crossed her arms anxiously, waiting to see who would stay with her, at the same time knowing it would be anakin.  
"anakin will have to stay with you, senator. I must meet with captain typho about the security on board the royal cruisers." Obi wan bowed again to padme and beckoned to anakin. "anakin, be attuned to the force at all times. Do not let anything happen to the senator. Put your life on the line if necessary." Obi wan turned and left, and as anakin watched padme step toward him, he knew he would die before he let anything happen to her. He snapped out of his thoughts when he saw that padme was staring at him strangely.  
"I will call for a handmaiden to bring you some blankets, though I do not like the idea of you sleeping on the floor." Padme realized she was inviting danger by showing that she cared for him; and it was true, she did care for him; a great deal.  
"I will be fine, senator amildala. My biggest concern is your safety." Anakin locked his eyes with hers and stared at her intensely, almost searing a hole in her heart. His gaze was loving and protecting and demanding, all at the same time; padme knew these were things Jedi should not feel. She broke away quickly and called for one of her handmaidens to bring some blankets for anakin.  
  
PART III  
  
Anakin watched padme slip off her robe as he lay on the floor, covered in blankets, beside her bed. She was so beautiful. Her skin seemed to glow in the moonlight coming from a large window just above her bed post. She pulled out the ribbon that had been holding her hair up, and let a mass of brown curls cascade down her almost bare back. Anakin wondered if these were things she did every night before bed, or if she was only doing them now to torment him; he was having a hard time containing himself. But then he pushed those thoughts out of his mind, knowing padme could never have any strong feelings for him; he was just an immature, arrogant boy. His eyes widened a bit when he felt something warm and soft on his cheek. He looked up to see padme bent low beside him, her small hand barely touching his cold face. They sat like that for a moment, neither one wanting, or daring, to move.  
"you've changed so much." Padme's light, quiet voice broke the silence. Anakin looked at her again, in a way that made her feel uncomfortable. His eyes bored through her soul.  
"you haven't changed a bit. You're exactly the way I remember you in my dreams." He never broke the stare as he thought to himself that she was exactly the way he remembered her in his good dreams, not the ones where she died. Anakin moved in closer, almost daring to kiss her, but she realized what he was doing. She rose and moved to turn out the lights and got into her bed, pulling the light covers high around her exposed chest and back.  
"good night, anakin." She let her voice drop only to a whisper as she turned her back to him and closed her eyes.  
"good night, senator amidala." She stayed awake only long enough to whisper in reply,  
"anakin, we're friends. Please call me padme."  
  
So many things were rushing through anakin's mind. It had been a very trying day. He was seeing padme again for the first time in ten years, and she acted as though she wanted nothing to do with him. The closer he tried to get to her, the farther away she would push him. He listened intently to see if she was asleep, and a few seconds of her light breathing calmed him before he, too drifted off in to an uneasy sleep, his recent dreams of padme's death coming back to him. As he closed his eyes, he didn't notice the tiny droid hovering outside the senator's window. As the two slept soundly, the droid dropped a capsule containing two deadly, centipede- like worms onto the sheets beside padme. The worms wiggled out of the capsule and made their way eagerly to the sleeping woman, their eyes fixed on an uncovered spot on her upper chest.  
  
Anakin tossed and turned in his pile of blankets, once again haunted by the nightmare of padme's death. And just as the poisonous worms reared for their attack, anakin sat up, and in one swift movement grabbed his light saber, ignited it, and lunged for padme's bed. He sliced the worms in half with a twist of his blue blade. Padme sat up suddenly, and breathed in sharply. She saw that anakin was kneeling close by her side on the bed, but for the moment she didn't care that they were too close.  
"anakin." padme fell freely into his opened arms and buried her head on his shoulder. When she felt him cautiously put his arms around her, she realized that if he hadn't been there, she would be dead. The assassination attempts on her life had never really bothered her before; they had never come this close to succeeding. For the first time in her career as fearless queen and then senator, she was afraid. Anakin saw all this as he held her in his arms and watched as she unwillingly let hot tears fall down her cheeks. Anakin wiped them away with a corner of her soft cotton sheets, and rocked her back and forth, trying to sooth the woman he so deeply loved.  
"It's okay, padme. I would never let anything happen to you." Padme nodded and raised her head slightly. She felt his hand moving up and down the bare part of her back, and she shivered at the touch. She knew they were too close, and that he wasn't allowed to do anything like that, and it scared her. He was betraying his jedi code just because he hoped she loved him. Padme sat up and moved away from him, trying to ignore the hurt look on his face.  
"thank you, ani," she said as he reluctantly sat back down on his pile of blankets. She tried to go to sleep quickly; she didn't want to think about the feelings she knew she had for anakin.  
  
As the sun poured in to padme's open window, she sat up with a start. She looked down to where anakin had been sleeping the night before, and noticed that he was gone, along with his blanket pile. Padme shut the window and drew the curtains, and hurriedly dressed into a dark blue gown with silver swoops down the front. She ran a brush through her hair and twisted it up in many odd ways, then secured it with four dark ribbons. When she finally made it to the front room of her apartment, she saw that captain typho, obi wan, and anakin were already there, not to mention five of her handmaidens.  
"I'm sorry I'm late. I do not wish to hold you up." Padme smoothed her skirts and sat down as the captain and the jedi master bowed to her. The padawan did not bow, she noticed; it seemed that he was motionless in her presence. Obi wan and anakin took seats on the couch in front of the senator, and captain typho stood to the left of her. The handmaidens took their places behind padme.  
"senator amidala, your safety is at great risk here. I do not believe you should continue your work on coruscant." Obi wan winced as he saw the senator give him an angry glare. Anakin was pleased to see that padme hadn't told obi wan to call her 'padme' instead of senator amidala. But when he turned to smile at padme, out of pure joy at the indication that she might care for him, he was not pleased to see that she was frowning deeply at his master.  
"what do you suggest, master jedi? That I leave coruscant?" padme asked sarcastically. She was shocked and even angrier when she saw obi wan give an exasperated nod.  
"yes, senator. That is my suggestion. Anakin and I have already contacted the jedi council, and they agree with me."  
"I must vote on the creation of a clone army for the republic. This vote is very important-," padme began to protest, and anakin started to speak as well, but a stern look from obi wan made him hold his tongue.  
"senatr amidala, please listen to reason. Your safety is more important than the creation of an army," obi wan retorted, interrupting padme.  
"I do not agree with you on that, master kenobi." Anakin was troubled by her words as padme rose and stalked out of the room.  
  
PART IV  
  
Anakin stood cowering in the doorway that separated padme's room from her living room, watching her pack. He didn't dare speak to her; he could sense she was upset about being ordered to leave coruscant. They were to leave as soon as possible for her home planet of naboo. Secretly, anakin was pleased with the arrangement; he was to stay with padme and protect her, while his master was tracking down her assassin. He turned to padme, not sure what he should do.  
"I do not like this idea of hiding," she hissed as she brushed passed him, an armful of dresses and skirts dangling from her arms. Anakin followed her to her bed, on which she dumped her load of clothes and began stuffing them in a large suitcase.  
"don't worry. Now that the council has ordered an investigation, it won't take master obi wan long to find the person behind the attacks," said anakin, trying to make the enraged young woman feel better.  
"I have not worked for a year to defeat the military creation act to not be here when its fate is decided," said padme loudly. She gave an exasperated sigh and looked anakin in the eye. She could tell he felt superior to her, just because when he stood in front of her he towered over the small senator.  
"sometimes we must let go of our pride and do what is requested of us." Anakin had said the words to make himself appear older, more mature, but he almost laughed at himself, for he had never once done what was requested of him, if he had thought his way was better. Padme stopped packing and abruptly looked up at anakin, then allowed her eyes to follow up and down his form.  
"anakin, you've grown up." Her tone was soft, yet firm, and that, coupled with the little smile she flashed him, made him wonder if she indeed saw the man he had become. He noticed an ornate object sitting on the window- sill, and began to levitate it with the force, needing a distraction from the deep red blush that was forming around his cheeks. He didn't cover it up quick enough, however, for padme's smile widened even more when she saw a glimmer of the little boy she cared so deeply for shine through in the man before her.  
"ani- are you blushing?," padme teased as she laughed softly. The question made anakin lose his concentration, and the small gold ball that had previously been hovering in the air came crashing down and shattered on the ground below.  
"I'm not, I'm not!," he shouted in protest, and he was only even more embarrassed when padme laughed uncontrollably. She put her hand to her mouth so as not to attract the attention of her handmaidens. He needed something to distract her from his blushing, and his eyes fell to the mass of shattered gold glass lying at his feet. He pointed to it sheepishly.  
"sorry about that," he said. Padme, laughing slowly ceased, bent down to collect the shards of glass. As her hair swished past his face, anakin inhaled deeply the scent that he knew all too well as padme. He knelt down also and began to help her. He couldn't tell if she was mad until she glanced at him and smiled when his hand accidentally brushed over hers.  
"it's alright, ani." Her voice was a mere whisper, and he couldn't resist as he leaned forward. Padme knew they were too close, and before their lips had a chance to touch she pulled away quickly. Sensing that the warm moment had passed, anakin stood up and reached out his hand to help padme stand.  
  
LATER, GETTING OUT OF A SHUTTLE AT THE DOCKING BAY.  
  
Padme and anakin walked side by side, carrying their luggage. They were stepping off a freight shuttle and coming to a large automatic door where Captain typho, obi wan, and the hand maiden dorme stood waiting for them.  
"be safe, M'lady," said captain typho, obviously concerned for padme's safety. Although he agreed with the council's decision to get the senator off of coruscant, he didn't like the idea of letting her out of his guard or control. His eyes moved to anakin, and he decided that he would have to have confidence in the young jedi.  
"thank you, captain," padme said strongly, her voice expertly hiding her concern for their lives. "take good care of dorme. The threat is on you two now."  
"he'll be safe with me," dorme said, trying to lighten the mood of the clearly tense senator; but failing to do so as small tears came to her eyes. Padme embraced her loyal friend and handmaiden, and squeezed her tighter as she said,  
"you'll be fine." As the women pulled apart, dorme shook her head and sniffled softly.  
"its not me, M'lady. I worry about you. What if they realize you've left the capital?"  
Padme stepped back from dorme and smiled as she looked at anakin, who was standing protectively behind her.  
"then my Jedi protector will have to prove how good he is." Padme reached behind her back and grasped anakin's hand, squeezing it gently. He tried to hide his excitement that padme had given him a compliment by erecting a poise of self willed confidence and control. But when he noticed that padme was still holding his hand even after the captain and dorme had left, anakin's smile broke through. His eyes locked with padme's for only a brief moment, the warmth being shattered by obi wan's voice.  
"Stay on naboo, and do absolutely nothing without consulting either myself or the council."  
"yes master," anakin replied dryly as he picked up the luggage and turned to exit, with padme not far behind.  
"oh, and anakin, try not to have any more nightmares," added obi wan with a wink. Anakin scowled at his master and he and padme walked off the shuttle and into the bright sun, dressed as peasants and trying to blend in with the thousands of escaping refuges. Anakin wanted his master to find the assassin quickly; he didn't want padme to be in danger; but he didn't want it to happen too quickly; he wouldn't be happy if the assignment ended shortly and the call of duty pulled him away from the woman he loved.  
"suddenly I'm afraid," padme confided in him, figuring that she might as well make the most of the trip and try to reconnect the bond they had created, if it had even been broken.  
"this is my first assignment on my own; I am, too," replied anakin as the couple, followed loyally by R2-D2, approached the large star freighter that would take them to naboo. Anakin, sensing that padme was tense, slowed a bit and waited until she looked at him. "but don't worry. We've got Artoo with us!" the levity was much needed, and padme laughed softly as they began to board the ship.  
  
The atmosphere in the cargo hold of the huge freighter, where the refuges were staying, was truly sickening. The lighting was dark and dim, and the smell was almost unbearable. Refuges of every species were crammed into the small hold, and anakin and padme were lucky to have found a miniscule table amongst the noise and confusion. Anakin had clutched her hand protectively until they had found the table; padme kept telling herself that he was merely acting under his mandate to protect her. But then, she couldn't help wondering if, just maybe, he wasn't entirely unhappy about the situation. After they had settled in hard chairs squeezed around the table, padme sent Artoo to bring the tired pair some food.  
Anakin couldn't help but notice the beautiful way the dim light made padme's skin glow. She looked breathtaking under any lighting, so this was no surprise to anakin. But there was something more, something hidden; a new side of padme that was just beginning to break the surface; a side he had never seen in her. She seemed free, relaxed, like she was letting go of her responsibilities and duties, and letting herself become simply padme for awhile. And anakin knew that he was adding to her happiness, her sheer bliss in being away from the rush of the senate. The droned beeping of the approaching Artoo, carrying a tray of food, interrupted his happy thoughts. The small droid distributed the food and clicked off.  
"it must be difficult having sworn your life to the jedi," padme said as she lifted her fork to her mouth. "not being able to visit the places you like or do the things you like." Anakin forced her to look at him, and gave her his most intense, passionate smirk as he said,  
"or be with the people I love?" padme stared back at him, trying to look unnerved, unmoved by his attempt to flatter her. But as his smile, and the way he locked his eyes with hers, became more and more deep, padme was suddenly afraid of him. He shouldn't be smiling at her like that.  
"are you allowed to love?" padme asked, needing to distract herself from his eyes and the thoughts she knew he was thinking. "I thought that was forbidden for a jedi."  
"attachment is forbidden. Possession is forbidden," anakin began, in a voice that sounded as though he were reciting something. "compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is central to a jedi's life." When he said that, he looked even deeper into her eyes, if that was possible, beginning to loose himself in their beauty. "so you might say we are encouraged to love." Padme let her defense slip a notch, and took his words to mean that their love could be real.  
"do you regret it?" padme asked, changing the subject; she didn't want to talk about love anymore; it was dangerous territory. "giving your entire life to the jedi council, I mean." She added, knowing perfectly well that he knew exactly what she meant. Anakin thought for a moment, then reached across the table and took padme's hand.  
"sometimes I do. I regret not being able to get married; to start a family. That's always been one of my dreams." His tone was just below a whisper, and though he didn't come right out and say it, padme knew she was the one he wanted to start a family with. But what about her? Though she knew that giving in to what he wanted was impossible, she wondered just for a moment if she wanted the same things he did; if her dreams were the same as his.  
"I think you would make a wonderful father," padme said in a low voice, not realizing their hands were still clasped together. As soon as the words left her mouth, padme put her hand to her lips. How could she say such things? She was revealing her own feelings; inviting things that should never happen; not between a jedi and a senator.  
  
The port of theed city was as crowded, if not more, as the refuge dock on coruscant. As padme and anakin drug their luggage across the bumpy cobble- stone ground, they could just see the many towers and floating globes of theed palace. Padme gazed ahead at the palace wistfully, thinking of how long it had been since she had been there, or on naboo, for that matter. And when the two, followed by the whistling R2-D2, tread on the familiar square where they had seen battle nearly a decade before, padme's eyes lit up in a beautiful light, illuminating her face. She remembered when the man she loved so deeply had been a small boy, scared and lost, and he had virtually saved her planet single handedly. She would be forever indebted to this man beside her, and all he wanted was her love in return; that was the only thing she could not give him, as much as she longed to.  
Anakin stole several glances at padme during the long walk to theed palace, noticing that with every step they took, closer to the palace, her smile seemed to get wider, and she seemed to be happier. She was looking into the distance with a longing gaze that only made her soft skin glow more. Anakin wondered what she was thinking; he had no idea her thoughts were focused on him; he could have used the force to read her mind, but he didn't want to invade her privacy. He didn't mind the long walk to theed palace; he liked just being in padme's presence. She seemed so happy just then, and he wished so much that he could make her see that being in love would work, if they wanted it badly enough.  
"if this was my home, I don't think I'd ever leave," anakin said, a sound of true sincerity playing in his voice. Padme looked at him curiously.  
"why not?" she asked, almost knowing, dreading, his reply. Anakin thought for a moment, and looked at the peaks of the approaching theed palace.  
"it's so beautiful here. The flowers are always blooming, the air always smells sweet." He inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of the crisp air; the scent of padme.  
"the sound of the waterfalls echoing in the caverns, its all so soothing," padme added blissfully. As they reached the steps of the palace, Artoo went ahead of them, and padme paused on the third step; that was the place she and anakin had truly looked one another in the eye, though he was only nine. She remembered the moment exactly. She was presenting the nubian globe of peace to the gungan leader after they had finally become allies with the naboo. After a long parade, the jedi riding beside her, padme stood on the third step, with anakin by her side, and presented the gungan leader with the globe. She glanced down at anakin, and their eyes locked together, she giving him a light, warming smile. He had returned her caring look with the same passionate, intense smirk she was so afraid of now.  
Anakin noticed padme had stopped distinctly on the third palace step, and he knew why. She was remembering the first time they had silently confessed their feelings, though he was just a slave boy and she was a queen. And suddenly anakin knew what could possibly make padme happier than she already was, if she was thinking about the same memory he was. He stared at her for a long while, until finally she looked at him. He locked his eyes with hers, and flashed her the same tempting smile he had given her ten years ago. It was all relatively easy for anakin to do; the moment was one of his fondest memories, so naturally he remembered everything about it. when padme caught on, she smiled at him in the same loving, caring way she had over a decade ago. Then she began to laugh.  
"I think we're recalling the same memory," padme said between giggles as she looked over at him and her smile glowed even more when anakin reached for her hand. He loved the sound of her laugh. It was soft and gentle, like a warm blanket in the cold night air. They stood on the third step of theed palace for precious moments in silence, staring at one another like they had so long ago. Then padme shattered the moment; she knew they should never be this close. Still holding his hand, she began the decent into the palace; anakin had no choice but to follow her, he didn't want to let go of her hand.  
  
*****  
They had a fairly easy time maneuvering their way through the palace to the throne room, where they would meet with the current queen, Jamila. Padme knew her way around the halls of the palace well, and since she had been friends with almost every official and hand when she was queen, she and anakin could get past the security base quickly.  
"I guess politicians are good for some things," anakin teased. Padme punched him softly on his arm and stopped him when they reached the throne room doors.  
"ani, please try to behave. I don't want to have to explain to Captain typho or master kenobi why we were kicked out of the palace." Padme said sternly; anakin could tell she wasn't joking. Padme could see he was offended by the way she still thought of him as a little boy, but the words had needed to be said. Without another glance at him, she continued to walk into the throne room. When they entered, padme and anakin were warmly greeted by queen jamila and her handmaidens.  
"senator amidala, it has been so long since you've been home," said the queen as she embraced padme lightly. The handmaidens in turn greeted padme, then the queen insisted that padme and anakin sit down and tell her of their travels. When the conversation turned to the recent attempts on padme's life, queen jamila suggested they hide in a resort in the lake country, a beautiful secluded area with lush waterfalls and rolling hills.  
"yes, your majesty, I believe that would be a wonderful idea," padme said, looking out the large window to her right, staring blissfully across the crystal lake. Padme snapped out of her daydream when she heard the queen addressing anakin.  
"what is your suggestion, master jedi?" the queen asked. Anakin had started to respond to her, but padme interrupted him.  
"oh, anakin's not a jedi yet; he's still a padawan learner. I think the-"  
"hold on a minute." Anakin cut her off, his eyes narrowing. Padme could tell he was becoming annoyed that she had dismissed him in such a manor.  
"excuse me!" padme shot back, her eyes narrowing as well. Anakin's glare didn't waver as he said, in an earth-real tone,  
"I'm in charge of security here, milady." Padme didn't back down at his glare or harsh tone, and would have retorted back, but she realized that the queen and her handmaidens were looking at anakin and herself in an odd, amused way. They shouldn't be fighting this way in public, not without making people believe there was something between them; and as padme often had to remind herself, there was not. She softened her glare and calmed herself.  
"anakin, this is my home; I know it very well, that is why we're here. I think it would be wise of you to take advantage of my knowledge in this instance." She turned and left the throne room, talking to queen jamila. Anakin walked behind them, his spirits softening a bit. The last thing he wanted t do was to make her mad at him.  
  
PART V  
  
As birds chirped softly above their heads in the tall, lush foliage of the trees, anakin helped padme out of the small boat that had taken them across the lake to the hidden woods and endless hills of the lake country. Padme took his hand, only letting go once she was safely on the steady dock. As they walked along, neither speaking, anakin stole quick glances at padme, and with each one, he burned a more breath taking picture of her in his mind. She was wearing a long, flowing light blue dress with rainbow accents, and her hair was pulled up into a care free, woven pattern. This was the way anakin wanted to see her, where her clothing was only a finishing touch. The elaborate gowns and headpieces padme had adorned as queen were beautiful in their own way, but they seemed to take away from padme's natural beauty.  
The couple walked along the dock silently, until they reached a flower- ornamented terrace with vines and low hanging tree branches providing adequate shade. Padme lay her crossed forearms on the balustrade, gazing out onto the shimmering lake and tall, purple mountains beyond it. Anakin stood beside her, turning his gaze from the water to padme, then back to the water again.  
"we used to come here for school retreat," padme said, a distant softness playing in her voice. "see that island over there? We would swim there everyday. I love the water." Anakin nodded in agreement.  
"I do, too."  
"we used to lay on the sand and let the sun dry us, and try to guess the names of the birds singing," padme went on. She knew anakin was staring at her, but she pointedly looked out over the water.  
"I don't like sand. It's course and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere," anakin commented. As padme turned to look back at him, she could sense there was more behind his words; he wasn't just talking about sand.  
"but not like here," he went on, " here everything's soft, and smooth." Hardly aware of the movement, anakin reached out and stroked the soft, bare skin on padme's back. He almost pulled away when he realized what he was doing, but since padme didn't resist, he let himself be drawn in by the feel of her skin. She seemed frightened, scared, like the touch was hurting her inside, but she didn't pull away. She turned her head to look at him, as if she was about to speak. But before words could leave her mouth, she looked into his deep blue eyes, crystal lakes of their own. She wanted to look away, but couldn't, her movements were subconscious. She was losing herself in his eyes, and she knew he was becoming lost himself in hers. Then, as if unaware of the movement, padme felt her head come closer to his; she saw him lean in, she closed her eyes when their lips brushed together. They began slowly, then anakin pressed in closer, as if there was no need to breathe. It was a touching, passionate moment, one neither would, or could, forget; it was as if forever would always mean them, together. It was their destiny.  
But suddenly, as if awaking from a dream, padme broke away, trembling slightly.  
"no. I shouldn't have done that," she said sternly. Anakin looked away, back out over the water.  
"I'm sorry," he replied in a tone that told her he wasn't the least bit sorry for kissing her, something forbidden by the code he had sworn his life to.  
  
*****  
anakin could feel butterflies fluttering in his stomach as he and padme made their way through the streets of naboo to her parents' house. He was nervous about meeting her family. She had told him so much about them; he felt as if he knew them already, but he knew they would see him as a little boy still, for padme had said she had told her parents about the heroic things he did for naboo when he was nine.  
The house was moderately large, with a huge, green front yard and gardens speckling the side and back yards. When the two approached the door, two small girls came running out of the house excitedly.  
"aunt padme! Aunt padme!" they cried as they hugged her tightly. She kissed them each on the cheek.  
"ryoo! Pooja!" padme was all smiles. Anakin smiled himself at the blissful scene. Padme was so happy; she looked like she would be wonderful with children. As she led the girls over to anakin, they clung to her hands, swinging her arms back and forth. Anakin noticed padme seemed glow to with an unseen light when she was around the children; he could easily see she loved them.  
"anakin, these are my sister's children, ryoo and pooja."  
"hello," anakin muttered to the cheerful girls. They didn't seem nervous or shy at all. Ryoo smiled at anakin, then looked to padme with a gleam in her eye.  
"ooohhh, aunt padme, is he your boyfriend?" she asked. Anakin looked at padme and they smiled at each other over ryoo's head. Anakin wondered what padme would respond to her niece.  
"yes, aunt padme, are you going to marry him? He's very cute." Pooja cut in just before padme could answer. The young girl's comment made padme laugh, though anakin knew she wasn't laughing at the idiocity of the idea of she and anakin getting married. "mommy thinks you should marry him," pooja went on. Just as padme was going to die of embarrassment, her sister came out of the house, a dish towel in her hand.  
"what did mommy say?" she asked as she hugged padme and kissed her on both cheeks. Padme gave her sister a curious look.  
"mommy seems to have told her precious girls that she thinks aunt padme should marry anakin skywalker," said padme tartly. Her sister turned red and swatted each of her girls with the towel. Anakin stood behind watching the whole scene. Even padme's family thought they should get married.  
"anakin, this is my sister, sola. Sola, this is anakin skywalker." Padme said as anakin shook sola's hand. Sola raised an eyebrow at anakin, then turned to padme.  
"this is anakin? Little nine- year- old anakin? My, you've grown," sola said in disbelief.  
  
After padme had introduced anakin to her mother, they all sat down to eat. Padme's mother jobal had prepared a delicious meal of things that were unfamiliar to anakin, but they looked and smelled wonderful. When the food had been served, sola stared intently at anakin for a moment before speaking.  
"anakin, do you know you're the first boyfriend my sister's ever brought home?" asked sola with a mused grin. Padme looked at her sister sternly, then kicked her hard in the shin, under the table so no one would see.  
"sola! Anakin's not my boyfriend, you know that." Padme gave her sister an annoyed glare. Sola smiled mischievously at anakin.  
"perhaps I just want him to be," she said, never moving her eyes from anakin. He began to feel uncomfortable; anakin could sense the tension between the sisters.  
"girls, stop it! Sola, leave your sister alone," jobal cut in. padme felt as if her mother was refereeing a fight between two children, not two grown women. She backed down and stopped kicking her sister, though reluctantly. Padme noticed that anakin looked out of place, uncomfortable, like he was the cause of the turmoil between padme and her sister. Padme reached for anakin's hand under the table and squeezed it gently, smiling warmly at him.  
"anakin, you're padme's bodyguard? They didn't tell us it was this serious," jobal said, feeling the need to change the subject. "is she in any danger?"  
padme didn't want her mother to worry, so she dug into anakin's hand with her fingernails, trying to send him a message with her painful force. Anakin winced but tried not to show any pain as he nodded solemly.  
"yes, I'm afraid she is." He couldn't hide his pain as she gripped at his soft skin with her sharp nails. Jobal looked concerned, and reached over to pat her younger daughter on the back. Sola, however, kept staring at anakin, as if knowing some great secret he did not. Anakin gave her a quizzical look, but she only smiled at him knowingly.  
  
"you still live at home. I didn't expect that," anakin commented as he watched padme throw clothes into an open bag. The two were alone in her room. She had hardly unpacked, but they had to get back to their hidden resort.  
"I move around so much. I've never had a place of my own. Official residences never seem to have much warmth," padme said as she looked at him briefly. Anakin stared at the three open closets stuffed with clothing, and at the two dressers filled with the same burden.  
"you should give your sister some of your clothes," he said jokingly. Padme looked around at the jumble of clothes and she couldn't disagree. "don't worry," she said with a laugh. "this won't take long."  
Anakin walked slowly around padme's room, glancing at holographs that hung on the wall. He stopped at a picture showing two smiling faces: padme and a man anakin knew automatically was her father. The man had padme's bright lively eyes and rich dark hair. The picture looked to have been taken a few years before. "is this your father?" anakin asked. Padme stopped packing and stood slowly. Her back arched, as if she was angry. Anakin didn't see this; his back was still turned to her, admiring the holo. "yes." Padme answered in a sad, strong tone. Anakin still didn't look at her. "you didn't introduce me to him," anakin said thoughtfully, still gazing at the holo of padme. Tears came to padme's eyes, and she let them fall slowly. She turned to face his back. "my father," she said quietly, "is dead." The words made anakin turn on his heel. He saw the tears streaming down her face, and was ashamed for making her feel so bad; he should have known her father was dead. Padme turned back to her packing, but stopped abruptly when she felt two strong arms around her waist. She knew anakin was tying to comfort her; she knew he felt terrible for making her cry. She turned her head and looked at him with wet eyes. "I'm sorry, padme." His words were soft as she buried her head in his robes and nodded on his shoulder. Padme wanted to say something, but her words turned into more tears and she choked them back. She had been so close to her father. He had gotten her interested in politics at an early age. He believed in her when times were hard. She had often written letters to him, telling him of how she thought of anakin everyday; her father would understand. He always understood. Padme pulled away from anakin, fresh tears still in her eyes. She sat down on her bed forcefully, taking deep breaths, which only turned into more sobs. "I need a moment," she whispered to anakin. He nodded to her and sat down next to her, pulling her gently into him. He began to stroke her soft brown hair, for once feeling that she truly needed him.  
  
*****  
  
dark green grasses and bright, colorful flowers covered the hilly meadow. Beyond the grasses and gardens were turrets of billowing waterfalls, cascading and then crashing into the lake below them. There was a warm breeze floating by, and puffy white clouds drifted slowly across the delicate blue sky above. A herd of blissful cow- like creatures called shaaks grazed serenely nearby, too busy with their feeding to notice the young couple. Padme sat on the grass, looking at the ground. She refused to meet anakin's eyes.  
"I don't know," she said in response to the question he had just asked her. She purposely sounded frustrated, dismissing the notion completely.  
"sure you do. You just don't want to tell me," anakin pushed on. It was true, Padme really didn't want to tell him. He had asked who the first person she had ever fallen in love with was, and she couldn't tell him the truth; the only person she had ever truly cared for was him. She quickly made up a name, off the top of her head.  
"all right," she pretended to give in unwillingly. "I was twelve. His name was palo. We were both in the legislative youth program. He was a few years older than I ." padme thought her lie wasn't too bad, and she narrowed her eyes teasingly at anakin with sudden intensity. "very cute. Dark curly hair. dreamy eyes." she pretended to be thinking of palo at that very moment, noticing with pleasure that anakin was becoming irritated.  
"alright, I get the picture," anakin said, waving his hands in frustration. He calmed himself and turned to look at padme.  
"what ever happened to him?" he asked seriously. Padme thought quickly, trying to keep up with her lie.  
"I went in to public service. He went on to become an artist."  
"maybe he was the smarter one."  
"you really don't like politicians, do you?" padme asked, a bit of anger creeping through her veins, despite the cheerful atmosphere.  
"I like two or three," anakin replied. "but I'm not really sure about one of them." His smile was playful and innocent, and padme had to force herself to keep frowning at him.  
"I don't think the system works," anakin said, turning the conversation.  
"really?" padme replied sarcastically. "how would you have it work?" she leaned back, ready to dismiss any reply he gave her as the careless thoughts of a child.  
"we need a system where the politicians sit down and discuss the problem, agree on what's in the best interest of the people, and then do it," he replied matter- of- factly.  
"that's exactly what we do," came padme's reply. "the- the trouble is that people don't always agree."  
"then they should be made to."  
His harsh statement caught padme off guard. He didn't think he was so powerful that he could. no, she put the thought out of her mind. "by whom? Who's going to make them?"  
"I don't know. Someone." Anakin shrugged in frustration.  
"you?"  
"of course not me!"  
"but someone."  
"someone wise."  
"that sounds like a dictatorship to me," padme said, feeling as if she had won the debate.  
"well, if it works." his smile was playful and mischievous. Padme stared at him, waiting for him to laugh. She knew he was teasing her. When finally he couldn't hold a straight face any longer, he burst into laughter.  
"you're making fun of me!" padme cried.  
"oh, no, I'd be much too frightened to tease a senator," he said, falling back on the grass and put his hands out in front of him defensively.  
  
Padme stood laughing as anakin, caught in the spiritedness of the moment, jumped on the back of a grazing shaak, causing it to buck and sway frantically. Anakin tried to stand on the massive creature, but it kicked out sharply, sending anakin flying into the air and tumbling to the ground. Padme was laughing so hard she could barely see, but then she realized something awful. Anakin wasn't moving. She ran to his side, thinking her whole world was coming down around her.  
"ani! Ani, are you all right?" she asked as she bent down beside him. "anakin," she said again, turning him over slowly. He seemed still and lifeless. Then his face twisted into a large grin, and he burst out laughing. Padme punched at his chest, but he caught her hand and pulled her on top of him. They rolled down the hill, one on top of the other, laughing all the way; never breaking the intense look they shared. When they stopped rolling, padme's body was pressed on top of anakin's; she could feel the warmth they generated. Anakin's face began to burn red, and he rolled out from under her and stood up seriously, taking her hand and pulling her up. He climbed onto the back of another grazing shaak and pulled padme up behind him. She put her arms around his waist and felt the closeness of their bodies, and she could just see the sun set over anakin's head as they rode off toward the resort silently, wordlessly, taking in the serenity around them.  
  
Padme sat listening as anakin told of his past adventures with obi wan. He had a knack for storytelling, and though she knew the life of a jedi was dangerous, she halfheartedly wondered if anakin was slightly exaggerating to make her more interested. She noticed that often when he spoke of her, his eyes rested on her chest before quickly looking back into her eyes. Padme began to wonder if she should have worn a different dress, for the one she was adorning was off the shoulder and very low cut, so that quite a lot of cleavage was visible.  
"so when I got to them we went into aggressive negotiations," he said with a gleam in his eye as he thanked the resort waitress when she placed a bowl of fruited dessert in front of him. It was padme's favorite, yellow and cream colored shuura fruit, sprinkled with sugar from the moons of tyranieene.  
"aggressive negotiations? What's that?" padme asked as she looked up at him.  
"negotiations with a lightsaber," anakin said as he grinned at her wryly.  
"oh," padme said with a laugh as she stabbed at her dessert with her fork. The fruit moved to the left and the fork hit her plate. Padme glanced at anakin and waved her fork at him.  
"stop that!" she said, half way between annoyance and amusement. Anakin looked at her innocently, expertly hiding his smile.  
"what?" he asked sweetly as he used the force to make the shuura hover in the air then float toward him.  
"that!" padme cried as she waved her fork again. Anakin laughed as he cut the fruit into pieces and floated on to padme. She stabbed it with her fork and bit into it, beginning to laugh herself. Anakin grinned inwardly at the sound of her voice, knowing he had made her happy.  
  
After the last bites of dessert had been eaten, the couple retired to the sitting room, choosing a small couch to sit on. There was a blazing fire in the hearth, and candles illuminated the walls in a dark, romantic light. Padme was stiff and uncomfortable, noting her companion was equally ill at ease. She shifted a bit amid the silence, and couldn't think of anything to say.  
Anakin glanced longingly at padme, feeling a desire to reach out to her, to touch her, tugging at his heart. He was in mortal pain inside, knowing that padme would never love him as he so loved her. But even if the feelings he had harbored since childhood would never amount to anything, he felt she must know the truth.  
"from the moment I met you, all those years ago, a day hasn't gone by when I haven't thought of you," anakin said in a husky voice, breaking the anticipated silence. Padme raised her eyes and unwillingly stared into his. "and now that I'm with you again, I'm in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you scares me. I can't breathe! I'm haunted by the kiss you never should have given me. My heart is beating, hoping that kiss will not become a scar."  
Padme forced herself to look away from his strong blue eyes and instead stared into the dark orange glow of the fire. She was amazed at how much of his soul he was pouring out in front of her; giving her his heart though he knew she might break it. His words touched her, moved her. And scared her.  
"you are in my very soul, tormenting me," anakin continued in such an honest, intense voice that padme again lost herself in his eyes. Anakin moved his hand up and down her arm gently.  
"what can I do?" he whispered softly. "I will do anything you ask."  
Padme melted at his sincerity, yet her heart shook with fear. She turned again to the warm flames, consoling herself in their bright orange dances.  
"if you are suffering as much as I am, please tell me," anakin pleaded. Padme shook her head and closed her eyes briefly. When she opened them, they would only focus on anakin.  
"I can't. We can't," she said in a voice barely above a whisper. "its just not possible."  
"anything's possible," anakin replied in a voice almost as small as her own. "padme, listen to me-"  
"no, you listen!" she shouted loudly as she stood up and turned swiftly to face him. "we live in a real world. Come back to it, anakin. You're studying to become a jedi, I'm a senator. If you follow your thoughts through to conclusion, they will take us to a place we cannot go . regardless of the way we feel about each other." Padme realized she had said too much, and confirmed this as the sparkle in anakin's eyes grew more vivid.  
"then you do feel something!"  
"jedi aren't allowed to marry," padme pointed out, trying to deflect attention away from her feelings. "you'd be expelled from the jedi order. I will not let you give up your future for me," said padme firmly as she swallowed hard.  
"you're asking me to be rational," anakin replied just as firmly, as he stood up. Padme watched his silhouette play rousingly against the wall, and traced the outline of his body with her eyes.  
"that is something I know I cannot do. I can't just wish away my feelings. I don't want to," continued anakin without hesitation. His confidence took padme by surprise. As she looked into his intense gaze, she knew there was nothing of the child she once knew in the man standing before her.  
"I am not going to give into this. I have more important things to do than fall in love." Immediately she wished she hadn't said the words; anakin looked away, hurt. But she knew it was the right thing to do, for anakin's sake more than her own. She watched him as he stared into the fire, trying to sort through it all. She knew he was trying to find a compromise to her resolve.  
"It wouldn't have to be that way," he said after a long pause, turning to stare at her. "we could keep it a secret."  
"then we'd be living a lie, one we couldn't keep even if we wanted to. My sister saw it, so did my mother. I couldn't do that. Could you, anakin, could you live like that?" he stared at her for a moment, and she felt her control slip a noch.  
"yes, I could. To be with you I would live a thousand lies."  
Padme was shocked at his reply. She thought he would have agreed to her reasoning. "I can't," she said, not breaking the gaze their eyes were locked into. "I just can-" her words were stopped short as anakin leaned down and brushed his lips against hers, beginning the second kiss she knew they never should have shared. But this time, she didn't stop him; she was fighting a war with her emotions, to keep them at bay, and knew she was losing.  
  
Padme lie in bed long after anakin had fallen asleep, thinking back on the hours that had just passed. The kiss. she wasn't sure what it meant, only that she knew how anakin felt, and that no matter how hard she tried, she could never stop him from loving her. And she wanted to let her protective barriers fall down, she wanted to love him, or at least to tell him so, for the feelings were already there.  
Suddenly, stirred out of her thoughts, she felt that something was wrong. She looked about her frantically, in fear that another one of those worm like creatures was on her. But the disturbance wasn't coming from in her room, and she confirmed this as she heard a muffled cry from anakin's room across the hall.  
"padme! No! padme!"  
padme slipped out of bed and ran to the door, not bothering to grab a robe. Anakin sounded wounded, like he was in danger. He kept calling her name into the silent night. At anakin's door she paused and listened, and hearing more cries for her and more jumbled yelling, she knew there was no immediate danger. Anakin was having a nightmare. in which something was happening to her. padme opened the door and gazed at his sleeping figure. He was thrashing about on the bed, yelling, "no, padme, no!" over and over again. When after a moment he didn't calm down, she bent over him and shook him awake.  
"anakin!" she whispered softly. He sat up slowly and looked at her, somewhat afraid, breathing heavily. Sweat was dripping down his face. He reached out for her, seeming to be amazed she was alive.  
"padme," he said as she sat next to him and, not knowing how else to help him, put her arms around his bare shoulders.  
"its okay. I'm here now. What happened?" she asked as he tried to calm down. His eyes looked lost, frightened. He took a deep breath.  
"padme, you were. you were in pain, and I couldn't save you," he said as his eyes searched hers. "I wasn't strong enough to save you," he added quietly. Just when he thought his awful nightmares of padme's death were slowly leaving him, they had come back, full force, racking with his heart. He wanted to keep her with him, forever, never letting go. He didn't want anything as terrible as his dreams to ever come true.  
As padme rocked the distressed young man back and forth, she noticed that he didn't have a shirt on, and was glad the room was dark so he wouldn't see her blush. She also noticed her revealing silk night gown, and hoped it was too dark for him to notice. After a few moments, she looked down at him to find he was once again asleep, though still breathing heavily. Padme realized she couldn't move without waking him, and knew he needed rest, so she laid her head on his back and soon fell asleep.  
  
Anakin rolled over groggily in the bed, feeling a soft, warm lump next to him. He pulled back the covers slightly and saw padme's mass of brown hair, and with a pang of embarrassment remembered the previous night. His dream had become so vivid, so real, that last night, when he saw padme sitting next to him, he felt as if she were already gone. He gently stroked her back for a moment, then rose and dressed quickly. He saw that padme was curled up into a ball on one edge of the bed, so he pulled her to the middle and covered her back up before going out to the terrace to meditate.  
Padme awoke in anakin's bed, and looked around, noticing he was not there. She got up and went back to her room to get her robe before joining anakin on the terrace. She realized he was meditating, so she didn't move, just stood there watching the rise and fall of his back as he breathed deeply. Suddenly, breaking the silence he had created, he spoke clearly.  
"padme, I want to see my mother," he said bluntly. " I want you to come with me." Padme was surprised. She was aware that he must miss his mother, but that statement threw her off a bit.  
"well . I suppose we could do that," padme replied, a bit reluctantly. Hadn't his master told him to stay on naboo?  
Anakin saw the puzzled look on padme's face, and knew she was thinking of his orders from obi wan. But he needed to talk to his mother, to tell her of his feelings for padme. His mother would know what to do . he couldn't explain his thoughts to padme, not without telling her the details of his horrid dream.  
"how long has it been since you've seen your mother, ani?" padme asked curiously, knowing that she was just going to have to go along with anakin's plan. He thought for a moment, then replied,  
"about a year. I try to get to tattooine to see her at least once every year."  
"and watto lets you visit her? I mean, she's still his slave, correct?" she noticed anakin wince at the remembrance that his mother was a slave. He nodded to padme, and she sympathetically squeezed his arm.  
  
*****  
  
padme's sleek silver star ship landed on the sand- covered, flat planet of tattooine, and anakin got out and helped padme down. They made their way into the bustling, crowded city of mos espa until anakin stopped abruptly in front of a beaten, rugged old shop. Hovering under the shade of the cloth roof, a blue- winged creature with a large middle and distinctive black hat was cleaning out the valves of a broken droid. Anakin approached the creature.  
"chut chut, watto," he greeted halfheartedly, for he wasn't pleased at all to be in the presence of his former slave master.  
"ke booda?" came the grunted response. The winged creature was surprised the man standing before him knew huttese; it was an old language that was almost forgotten.  
"di nova, chut chut," anakin replied, his voice barely audible above the beating of watto's wings.  
"ding mi chasa hopa," anakin offered, taking the broken droid from watto and expertly re- inserting its valves. He handed the droid back to watto, smiling when he realized watto still didn't recognize him.  
"kin chasa du jedi. No bata tu tu!" the toydarian said defensively. Padme, who had learned huttese during her reign as queen, had to stifle a laugh at watto's last statement, which translated to "you're a jedi! What ever it is, I didn't do it!"  
"mi boska di shmi skywalker," anakin said bluntly, getting right to the point. He wanted to spend as little time as possible around watto. The slaver, still not recognizing anakin completely, narrowed his bug- like eyes suspiciously. Who would be looking for his former slave? Watto looked from anakin to padme, then back to anakin.  
"ani?" he asked in basic galactic, "little ani? Nahhh!" anakin twisted the head back on the droid and handed it back to watto with a slight grin.  
"you are ani!" the toydarian cried in surprise. "it is you!" his wings began to beat furiously as he looked up and down anakin's tall form. "ya sure sprouted!"  
"hello, watto."  
Watto looked over at padme, and smiled in spite of himself. Padme began to feel uncomfortable. She didn't like his smile. It was dirty and twitchy.  
"anakin, who's this?" watto asked, smiling now at his former slave. "you've gotten yourself a girlfriend, huh?" asked watto with a gleam in his black eyes. Padme sighed inwardly. Were they that obvious? Why did everyone think they were dating? Even her sister's children thought so! Padme didn't understand it all.  
Anakin glanced quickly at padme and then turned to watto. "she's not my girlfriend, watto. Padme is a very close friend." By the tone of his voice, padme could tell anakin didn't exactly have any problems that everyone thought they were dating. Anakin knew padme was becoming frustrated, so he turned the subject back to his mother.  
"what about my mother, watto?"  
"oh, yeah. Shmi. She's not mine no more. I sold her."  
"sold her?" anakin asked as he clenched his fists in anger. He felt padme squeeze his arm.  
"months ago," watto explained. "sorry, ani, but you know, business is business. Sold her to a moisture farmer named lars. Least I think it was lars. Believe it or not, I heard he freed her and married her. Can ya beat that?"  
anakin just shook his head, trying to understand it all. His mother was free? His mother was married? "do you know where they are?"  
"not too far from here. Someplace on the other side of mos eisley, I think." He finished by shrugging his shoulders. A glare from anakin told him that wasn't good enough. "I'll get the address for you." The three went into the shop, and watto searched frantically for his records.  
Anakin walked around the shop absent- mindedly; a whirl of emotions and memories came rushing back to him. He recounted hours, days, years, spent in this dingy shop, time he spent fixing everything watto threw his way. Not all of the memories were bad, but the good ones were certainly outnumbered by the bad.  
Fortunately for watto, he came hovering back with the address of shmi's new master- or was it husband? - a one clieg lars. Not wasting any time and not bothering to thank watto, anakin wordlessly walked out of the shop into the bright tattooine sun, with padme closely following.  
  
Anakin and padme walked aimlessly amid a row of moisture farms, searching for the one described to them by watto. Padme could tell anakin was overjoyed that he would get to see his mother again. She was happy to be meeting her, also, but a little apprehensive. She should be used to meeting new people, what with her endless delegations as queen and in the senate. But she felt that she had to please anakin's mother, to impress her. When she looked up again, she realized anakin was leading her towards a large, domed moisture farm. The first form that came looming into view was that of a very thin, battered droid, dull gray in color and worn from weathering. He rose with a jerky motion, sensing their approach. "hello," he said. "I am see-" "treepio?" anakin asked breathlessly, his eyes widening in shock. The last time he had visited his mother, threepio was still unfinished and uncovered. Someone must have finished him. "oh, my!" the droid exclaimed, twitching excitedly. "the maker! Master ani! I knew you would return!" he turned to padme, beaming with joy. "and this must be miss padme! I'm so pleased to see you both!" "hello, threepio," padme said with a delicate smile. "I've come to see my mother," anakin said bluntly. Threepio could only nod as he led the couple inside the large base dome. When they ascended the clay steps, anakin saw a young man and woman in the area below. "master owen, might I present two very important visitors?" "I'm anakin skywalker," anakin said at once. The young man held out his hand. "I'm owen lars. This is my girlfriend, beru." The young woman nodded and smiled. "hello." Padme, giving up on anakin to introduce her, said, "I'm padme." "I guess I'm your stepbrother," owen went on. "I had a feeling you might show up." "is my mother here?" anakin asked anxiously. "ani! Ani!" came the response as a tired- looking but healthy woman threw her arms around him. "anakin!" she cried again. Anakin pulled back from her and looked into the smiling face of his dear mother. "mom!" he cried as he kissed her on her forehead. Padme looked on with a smile of pure bliss. She was close to her father in that same way. anakin, not realizing padme was in a moment of deep thought, turned to her and smiled deeply. "mom, this is padme," he said as shmi, too, smiled at her. "padme. I've heard so much about you," said shmi warmly. Anakin blushed slightly. "you were right, anakin. She is beautiful." This made anakin's face go red. "mom!" he cried in embarrassment. Padme laughed and squeezed shmi's hand. "it's nice to see you again, mrs. Lars."  
  
PART VI  
  
Padme was in the kitchen with beru, preparing dinner, as anakin, owen, and mrs. Lars sat in the sitting area. At first, shmi was reluctant to have padme cook the meal, as she was the guest, but padme wouldn't hear of it any other way. She wanted anakin to spend some time with his mother. Beru, having never met anyone as regal and interesting as padme, decided to help her.  
"what's it like? Naboo, I mean," beru asked as she and padme kneaded dough for the dinner rolls.  
"naboo isn't like here at all. It's open and green with water everywhere," came padme's honest reply as she saw the young woman's eyes widen. Padme could instantly tell beru had never traveled. Padme felt uncomfortable talking about a planet beru knew nothing about.  
"are you and owen planning to get married?" padme asked. Beru smiled up at her and held out her left hand. Padme gasped. Placed delicately on her ring finger was a sparkling gold ring.  
"its lovely!" padme exclaimed. She secretly wished she could be engaged as well, but that was simply impossible. She had no time for a family.  
  
*****  
after a delicious meal of bantha meat and teela salad, everyone retired to his or her separate rooms. Anakin and padme walked aimlessly around the lars homestead together, laughing softly at the loud sounds coming from owen's room.  
"your mother is a wonderful person, ani," padme said. Anakin looked at her and could easily tell something else was on her mind.  
"yes, she is," replied anakin, still staring at padme.  
"have you ever thought of getting married? I know its forbidden for a jedi, but have you ever thought about it?" padme's question stopped anakin in his tracks. Of course he thought about getting married. He dreamed about it. And the only person he had ever dreamed of marrying was padme. But why would she ask such a thing? And so suddenly?  
"I don't know," anakin replied with a shrug, lying through his teeth. "have you?" He noticed a far off look in her sparkling brown eyes.  
"sometimes." Her voice was a mere whisper. "it seems as if marriage is forbidden for me, too," she commented. Anakin nodded, not sure of what to say. He and padme stood looking out of a small window at a raging sand storm outside. Padme was scolding herself mentally for bringing up the subject of marriage with anakin. Hadn't they had this conversation just the night before? Didn't she tell him it would never work? But if he wouldn't listen to orders given by his master, she doubted he would listen to her reasoning.  
  
Anakin and his mother sat around the small kitchen table, enjoying each other's company. Shmi loved her son dearly, and wanted him to be happy, but she didn't want him to break ancient jedi codes and orders to follow a forbidden love. Shmi knew padme was a wonderful, caring young woman with a leveled head and a kind heart, and she would be thrilled if they indeed did get married. But secretly, for anakin's sake, shmi hoped padme's head was level enough to stop her son's swaying heart.  
"mom?" anakin's voice broke the silence. Shmi turned to look at her son.  
"yes, ani?"  
"what should I do about padme?"  
"what do you mean, anakin?" shmi pretended to have no idea as to what her son might be about to say.  
"I . I love her, mom; I know it's forbidden, but I can't help it." Anakin's smile was gentle and longing, perfectly reflecting that of his mother.  
"have you told her this, ani?"  
"yes, just last night; she said it wouldn't work, that we'd be living a lie. But I don't care about that. I just care about padme." Anakin cast his eyes down at the revelation of his love for padme to his mother. Shmi, seeing quite obviously that nothing she could say could make anakin change his mind about his feelings for the young senator, chose her words carefully.  
"anakin, what does your heart tell you?" she asked him, seeing the pain on his face. Her son was soon to experience a broken heart, shmi feared.  
"it tells me to believe in the love I feel for padme, and that everything will work out." Shmi nodded a silent response as her son stood up. She squeezed his arm lovingly as she watched him go down the dark hallway.  
  
Padme stood at the door of her room, listening. Everyone seemed to be asleep, so she slipped out into the hallway and made her way quietly to the kitchen. She noticed suddenly that anakin's mother was in the kitchen, sipping a tattooinian herbal tea. Shmi turned at the sound of padme's footsteps, and frowned slightly at the discouraged, confused look on the young senator's face.  
"padme? Are you alright? Sit down." Shmi poured padme some tea as the forlorn young woman sat down.  
"I . I'm fine, really, mrs. Lars." The sad look on padme's face had told shmi that everything she had just said was a ploy to disguise the truth. "please don't worry about me. You've been kind enough to me already. My problems should not be your concern."  
Shmi reached across the small table and took padme's hand. "padme, you are like a daughter to me. I've always felt that way. And I won't be able to rest if I know something is troubling you. Please, tell me." Padme looked up at shmi. Her voice was calm and soothing, yet persistent. Padme could sense easily that shmi really did care for her.  
"I know that anakin is- well, I know that anakin has feelings for me. And I also know that those feelings should not be felt. Mrs. Lars-,"  
"please, call me shmi."  
"shmi, I'm . I'm afraid of him. If he is willing to break the code that he's dreamed of following his whole life for me, how can I be sure that, if I were to agree to these feelings, he wouldn't break his vows to me for something else?" padme breathed heavily. Her feelings were hard to explain. How could padme tell shmi that she couldn't love anakin, even though it was the thing she desired most in the world?  
"padme, how do you feel about anakin?" padme turned her gaze to the rough surface of the table. She was beginning to feel uneasy. How could she tell anakin's mother of her love for him? After a long pause, she spoke slowly.  
"I . I love him," she whispered. " I love him. But I don't know what to do. I can't possibly let him give up his future for me. I would never be able to live with that."  
Shmi smiled fondly at the woman she loved as dearly as her own precious son. Padme cared for anakin so much that she was willing to sacrifice her love for him to ensure him the future he'd always dreamed of.  
"padme, haven't you ever thought that you could become his future? That you are his future?" padme knew inside her heart that shmi was right. "I know you are trying to protect him, but don't you realize that if he couldn't be sure of your love, he would fall apart? He loves you, padme; you love him. Why should you be apart?"  
padme, the midst of shmi's words still ringing in her ears, stood slowly and kissed shmi lightly on the cheek. "thank you, shmi. You are like my mother when she is not here."  
  
Anakin walked sleepily into the kitchen, basked warmly in the bright sunshine. His mother was seated with beru and owen. Shmi was weeping silently and beru and owen both looked saddened. Anakin noticed with a sinking heart that padme wasn't with them.  
"mom? Mom, what's wrong? Where's padme?" he knelt beside his mother and took her hand. Shmi wouldn't meet his eyes.  
"where's padme?" anakin's voice was loud and strong. His mother tried to speak several times, but only ended in tears. Owen turned to anakin, deciding he should bear the news.  
"anakin, padme got a holo from naboo last night. Her mother was killed." There was immediate silence in the small room. Why was this happening to padme? She had already lost her father. Though the answer to that question was unsure, anakin did know that padme would need him now more than ever.  
"where is she?" he asked as he rose. Shmi could only point to the door. Anakin wasted no time as he bolted out the door to find padme.  
  
Padme stood outside the lars homestead, watching the wind stir up the sand on the ground. She couldn't move, she couldn't even blink. All she could think about was her mother's murder. A colleague of the assassin hired to kill her came to the naberrie residence looking for padme, and, mistaking jobal for her daughter, shot and killed her. Padme could only think that if she had stayed on naboo, with her family, for just a bit longer, her mother would still be alive. She wasn't yet over her father's death, and that had been years ago, and now this horrible act of fate? Padme wasn't sure she could be strong any longer.  
She heard the crunching of boots on the stirred sand and knew anakin had come to comfort her. She wanted to remain poised and in control, but when she heard his soft voice whispering in her ear and felt his hands grasp hers, she couldn't hold her emotions back from him.  
"padme," she melted at the sound of his voice, now growing louder. "padme, what can I say? I don't know what to do. I'm just. so sorry."  
Padme couldn't speak, she just sank to the sandy ground; anakin was right behind her. After a long moment, she looked up in to his eyes.  
"I loved my mother- so much. And I just don't understand why." she couldn't finish; padme bent her head onto anakin's shoulder.  
"I know," was all he could say. He gazed into her eyes, and knew something else was bothering her. He placed a hand under her chin and tilted her head up to him.  
"what is it padme? What else is wrong?"  
"nothing. nothing else."  
"padme, you can't lie to me. I respect you and your thoughts, so I will only use the force if you won't tell me."  
Padme looked away for a moment, and when her eyes once again met his, they were glazed with a fresh blanket of tears; on the verge of falling. She took a deep, shaky breath.  
"anakin, before we left my mother's house on naboo, I had an argument with her. We yelled and screamed at each other, and I . I told her I hated her." Padme's tears fell, along with quiet sobs. She laid her head back on anakin's shoulder and closed her eyes. "I never apologized."  
Anakin looked down at padme, his own eyes glazed with tears. "what were you arguing about?"  
Padme looked directly into his crystal blue eyes. "you." Anakin's eyes widened, and he felt hot tears fall down his cheeks.  
"what?" his voice was rasped and shallow. Padme swallowed hard before continuing.  
"she didn't agree with my decision to serve as senator; she thought I should have had a family of my own by now. When. when she met you; after dinner; she told me I should agree with your feelings for me, and that I should give in to my own for you." She paused to look into his tear- stained face. "I told her that your future was with the Jedi, not me, and that I was sorry I wasn't the daughter she had wanted me to be. I walked away, and that was the last time I saw her."  
All anakin could do was hold padme and stroke her hair. He didn't know what to say; what he could say; to make her feel better.  
"padme, I am so. sorry." Padme noticed that he was still crying. She raised a hand to his wet face.  
"oh, ani, don't cry. It wasn't your fault." He put his own hand to hers, and kissed it softly.  
"I'm trying to be strong, padme, for you. I know you need me now, but I - I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help you."  
"anakin," padme said, her voice softening, "you don't have to be strong for me. I know you try. You're only nineteen, anakin. You shouldn't have to deal with these kind of problems. But you do, because you care for me. And that means so much to me. I couldn't get through this without you."  
Words caught in anakin's throat as he looked down at padme in his arms. Everything she had said was true; he did care for her, very much. He loved her. But part of loving her meant that he had to accept her feelings, whether he liked them or not.  
  
The soft but audible familiar beeping of r-2d-2 startled the mourning couple. Padme raised her head and looked at the droid dismally.  
"artoo, I told you to stay with the ship," she said. "what are you doing here?" 


End file.
